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Why We Don't Do Bedtimes

A lot of people seem very surprised and even a bit uncomfortable when I tell them that my children do not have a set bedtime, but it works great for us. Believe it or not, my kids are not bouncing off the walls until midnight every night, in fact they usually are in bed asleep before 9pm. In this post I will share a few of the reasons we skip the whole "bedtime fiasco" in our house.





Circadian Rhythms

Circadian rhythms are the human body's internal clock. It's what controls our sleep/wake cycles and they are heavily influenced by the sun. Our body's naturally get sleepy when the sun goes down and naturally feel energized when the sun comes up. 
Forcing children to go to bed before their internal clock says it's time, can throw off their natural circadian rhythms, which can cause sleeplessness at night and tiredness during the daytime.


Kids Are Capable Of Knowing When They Are Tired

Just like adults, children are capable of knowing when they are tired, if given the opportunity to listen to their body and set their own rythm. Sleep is a biological necessity, so we all get tired at some point. When we get tired, we sleep. It's really that simple. We're born knowing how to do this, so why try to interfere?


Skip The Power Struggle

I hear so many parents complain about how long it takes to get their kids to bed. I also see many articles and blog posts with tips for getting your kids to sleep. We don't have any of that in this house. Bedtime is easy and peaceful around here because my kids actually want to go to bed.


Developing Healthy Habits

Allowing children to go to sleep when they are ready puts them in charge and encourages them to develop healthy habits on their own. I am a firm believer that we shouldn't dictate to our kids unless it's to protect them from something dangerous. It's important for them to learn to make good decisions on their own. 

If we are always in charge of our children's every step, how do they learn to make healthy choices themselves? Who do they listen to when we're not around? I'm trying to raise free thinkers who will be capable of making sound choices without me, and in order to do that they have to be given opportunities to make decisions on their own.

This doesn't necessarily mean just letting them go for it without any guidance, I have conversations about the importance of getting enough rest with my kids starting when they are fairly young. I encourage them to pay attention to what their bodies are telling them and to make adjustments as necessary. 

Does this mean that occasionally one of my kids may choose to not to listen to their body or may miss the tired cues and go to bed later than they should? Sure, but they also suffer the consequences of being tired the next day and they learn. 


Our Experience:

My children have never had set bedtimes, they have always been allowed to go to sleep whenever they feel ready. And believe it or not, they're pretty great at it. My girls typically put themselves to bed between 8 and 9pm depending on the time of year. 

Since they go to bed when they are tired, they have very little trouble falling asleep. There is none of that "can I have another drink?" or 10 trips to the bathroom business at bedtime, they just go to bed and fall asleep.


Healthy sleep habits begin in childhood.  Forcing our bodies to sleep at the wrong times can mess with natural sleep cycles, which is probably why so many adults have problems sleeping. My hope is that by establishing healthy sleep habits early on, my children will become adults with healthy sleep habits.

How do you handle bedtime in your home?

If you enjoyed this post, check out: 5 Reasons To Let Your Kids Go Barefoot


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Comments

  1. I love this idea! Sometimes my son is not tired at his "scheduled" bed time! As parents we are always reading to keep them on a schedule, but this seems like a less stressful approach! Thank you for this!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great post! We try to stick to a schedule but we do have to make adjustments as well.

    ReplyDelete
  3. We don't have bedtimes either. We have "in your room" time. I also don't wake them unless I absolutely have to do so (yay for homeschoooling). People think we're nuts but it works for us.

    ReplyDelete

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